Today was one of those "can I please forget you ever happened" days. I don't know why the wood piles behind the house inspired me so much today. But for some reason they had a pull on me. The textures, the cracks, the layers. For some reason it just added up to today. It added up to the way my life feels right now.
I'm starting to feel broken, useless and forgotten. I feel like there are so many layers above me that I can't even be seen, sometimes I can't even breath. Everyone tells me that this all will pass. That soon all that is happening now will be a memory. No matter who says it, no matter how hard I try to believe it sometime the words just aren't enough.
There is no way I'm giving up hope. There is no way I will succumb to my fear. I just worry, because that is all I can do right now. Worry and try my hardest to get on top, to be noticed, to stand out in the sea. The right thing will come along. The lessons I've learned along the way are important. I just feel like I need to get out soon, or else I never will.
Just like this wood, eventually I will be useful.
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